Like most people, I have spent the last week being reminded of and expressing gratitude for all the ways I have been blessed.
I have expressed my gratitude for the abundance of really good food that I have enjoyed. I have expressed my gratitude for having a warm, dry place to sleep, to eat, and to watch television. I have expressed my gratitude for having clean water to drink and hot water to shave and bathe with.
I have expressed my gratitude for cars that run, mechanics that keep them running, good streets, highways to travel and gas that has dropped significantly in price. I have expressed my gratitude for having a closet full of clothes... some of which are too small for me to wear because of all the good food that I have enjoyed. I have expressed my gratitude that I have an attic to store stuff that I use one time a year and some stuff that I don't use at all.
I have expressed my gratitude for a loving wife who cooks all the good food that I have eaten which has caused me to have clothes in my closet that I cannot wear, for being a Dad, and for having a rich heritage of extended family that knows how to laugh, how to cry, and how to love, and for having friends. I have expressed my gratitude for being entrusted with the privilege of studying God's Word and the opportunity to share what I have learned.
I have expressed my gratitude for good medical care, and for the freedoms, rights and responsibilities of being a citizen of this country. I have expressed my gratitude for the Savior who was willing to die for my sins.
I acknowledge that I have been blessed, that I am blessed, and I have every reason to believe that I will continue to be blessed.
Yet, something is not right. Something is still missing. I am not where I want to be. I want to be more like Christ. I want to be a better follower of Jesus, a better leader of His people, and a better example to my neighbors.
I want to be a better husband. I want to be a better Dad. I want to be a better preacher, teacher, and counselor. I want to be better friend. Though real, my discontent is not unique. Paul expressed his desire like this: "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:10-14)
Father, You have blessed me beyond my wildest imagination, but it's still not enough. I still want more. I long for more of You in me.
-tom