coming

I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a hairstyle I liked for myself, and I asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine next door to make a copy of the photo.

"Leave some ID, a driver's license or a credit card," she said.

"But my husband is here getting a haircut," I explained.

"Yes," she replied. "But I need something you'll come back for."

We are familiar with the concept of collateral. Perhaps many of you have been in a situation, as I have in time past, where you pumped your gas or bought some groceries but then realized that you didn't have any cash. The cashier wanted something (usually a driver's license) as collateral to serve as proof that you would return to pay the full amount.

In the Old Testament, the word that is most often used to describe collateral is "pledge". You may recall the story of Jacob and Tamar in Genesis 38, where Judah had sex with Tamar, thinking that she was a prostitute. As payment, he offered to return home for a goat, but Tamar wanted collateral: "What will you give me a pledge till you send it?" (Gen. 38:17).

Under the Law of Moses, if you needed collateral, you could take a person's garment, but "If you ever take your neighbor’s garment as a pledge, you shall return it to him before the sun goes down." (Exodus 22:26) because that's what he used to keep warm at night.

In the New Testament, the word that is most often used to describe the idea of collateral is "guarantee". Three times (2 Cor. 1:22; 2 Cor. 5:5; Eph. 1:14), the apostle Paul says that God has given us His Holy Spirit as a "guarantee" that there is more to come. We can be assured that God will keep all of His promises and give us great blessings (including a home in heaven) because we have the Spirit to serve as collateral.

"For we who are in this tent groan, being burdened, not because we want to be unclothed, but further clothed, that mortality may be swallowed up by life. Now He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who also has given us the Spirit as a guarantee." (2 Cor. 5:4-5)

Trust me, that's something God is definitely coming back for!

learning

I read recently about a wife who who frustrated at always being corrected by her husband. She decided the next time it happened she would have a comeback. That moment finally arrived, and she was ready. 

"You know," she challenged, "even a broken clock is right once a day." 

He looked at her and replied, "Twice." 

Nobody enjoys being corrected, even if it's done in a kind, loving way. But correction may serve a useful purpose. We need to listen to it and, if possible, profit by it.  

As someone has said, "We learn much from the disagreeable things people say, for they make us think, whereas the good things only make us glad."

For Christians, correction should be a stepping-stone to spiritual growth! It's an opportunity to learn what we're doing wrong and what we need to do better. It provides us with the motivation we need to change and mature.  

But our pride often stands in the way of our gaining anything from correction. We don't want to admit our shortcomings. We react to admonishment by pouting, retaliating in anger or attempting to rationalize our behavior.

Peter is a good example for us. He had a lot of excellent qualities that made him a great servant of God -- his leadership, his frankness, his energy, his devotion. But there's one quality in particular that helped Peter grow to the great leader that he was. Peter was correctable. And a correctable person is able to learn and grow. 

On at least eight different occasions, the Bible tells us that Peter blew it. He sank in the Sea of Galilee. He rebuked Jesus for talking about his death. He spoke out of turn at the transfiguration. He initially refused to let Jesus wash his feet. He went to sleep in Gethsemane. He cut off the ear of Mal­chus. He denied any relationship with Jesus. And he practiced racial discrim­ination against his Gentile brothers at Antioch.

And every time he failed, Peter received some kind of admonition, usually verbal -- from Paul, from Jesus, from God. And each time, Peter humbly received his admonition, then pressed on in his Master's service.

"If you listen to correction to improve your life, you will live among the wise. Those who refuse correction hate themselves, but those who accept correction gain understanding." (Proverbs 15:31-32)

wish

Someone has composed this list (from a variety of sources) of "Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Went Out Into the Real World":

* Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.

* Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra, some are on-stage singing, some are in the audience as critics, some are there to applaud. Know who and where you are.

* The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."

* Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

* When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

* The only really good advice that I remember my mother ever gave me was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"

* If he says that you are too good for him, believe it.

* I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

* The shortest line is always the longest.

* Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

* If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

There's a lot of biblical truth in many of the statements above, especially the last statement. How often have you done something really stupid and said to yourself, "I wish I could have a second chance"? The truth is, God has given you a second chance. He's given you hundreds of second chances. You're not guaranteed another one, but the fact that you got up out of bed today means that you have one more opportunity to make right anything that has destroyed your relationship with God or others.

Many people have questioned why Jesus has not yet returned like he promised he would. Here's one reason:

"The Lord is not slack concerning His promise [to return], as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9)

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! Don't waste it.

? whip

The following story comes from Robert Norris (via Reader's Digest):

"My brother and I arrived at boot camp together. On the first morning, our unit was dragged out of bed by our drill sergeant and made to assemble outside. 'My name's Sergeant Jackson,' he snarled. 'Is there anyone here who thinks he can whip me?'

"My six-foot-three, 280-pound brother raised his hand and said, 'Yes, sir, I do.'

"Our sergeant grabbed him by the arm and led him out in front of the group. 'Men,' he said, 'this is my new assistant. Now, is there anyone here who thinks he can whip both of us?'"

That humorous story reminds me of our relationship with God. As we look out at the world, our pride and our sense of independence may cause us to feel that we can take on anything life has to throw at us. But life will let us know very quickly that we are no match. The trials of life have a way of beating us down and causing us to feel helpless at times.

But God stands by our side and suddenly our confidence is renewed, because there truly is no one or nothing strong enough to defeat us both. 

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

"You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." (I John 4:4)

"Be strong and of good courage; do not be afarid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

May you find your confidence this day not in your own strength, but in the strength of the One who stands by your side.

scars

John Gordon was a respected general for the South in the Civil War. After the war, he was running for the United States Senate, but a man who had served under him in the war, angry over some political incident, was determined to see him defeated. Everyone knew this man would fight Gordon's bid to become a senator.

During the convention, he angrily stamped down the aisle with his anti-Gordon vote in hand. As he saw Gordon sitting on the platform, he noticed how his once handsome face was disfigured with the scars of battle -- marks of his willingness to suffer and bleed for a cause he believed in.

The old soldier was stricken with remorse. Overcome with emotion, he exclaimed, "It's no use; I can't do it. Here's my vote for John Gordon." Then, turning to the general, he said, "Forgive me, General. I had forgotten the scars."

What a difference it makes in our lives when we remember the scars! With so many things to distract us, we don't often take time each day to reflect on what Jesus went through on the cross for us. But, when we are tempted to stray, it is a remembrance of Christ's sacrifice that has the power to draw us back to him.

"He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon him, and by his stripes we are healed." (Isaiah 53:5)

May I encourage you this morning to take a moment to pause and "remember the scars".

passing

The rules at a particular university were such that if the professor were not present in the classroom by 15 minutes past the hour, the class was considered a "walk" and the students were free to leave -- with no penalties for missing a class. The rooms were equipped with the type wall clocks which "jumped" ahead each minute, in a very noticeable fashion. These clocks were also not of the most sophisticated construction. Some enterprising student discovered that if one were to hit the clock with chalkboard erasers, it would cause the clock to "jump" ahead one minute.

So, it became almost daily routine for these students to take target practice at the clock (as it would have it, this particular professor was not the most punctual). A few well-aimed erasers, and lo, 15 minutes were passed, and class dismissed itself.

When the day for the next exam rolled around, the professor strolled into the room, passed out the exams, and told them "You have one hour to complete it."

The professor then proceeded to collect the erasers from around the room and gleefully took aim at the clock. When he had successfully "jumped" the clock forward one hour, he closed the class and collected the exam papers.

We'll all been in situations where we would like for time to jump ahead and move faster than it does. But, as we get older, we become aware than time is moving quite fast enough on its own, without any help!

"My days are swifter than a weaver's shuttle..." (Job 2:6)

"Now my days are swifter than a runner; They flee away....They pass by like swift ships, Like an eagle swooping on its prey." (Job 9:25-26)

"For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away." (James 4:14)

The Bible speaks often about how quickly life passes, not to depress us, but to bring us to the realization that we had better be preparing now for the eternity that lies beyond this life.

If you find yourself watching the clock at work today, wishing the time would pass faster, be careful! It will be gone before you know it.

kill

"Mommy, my turtle is dead," the little boy, Freddie, sorrowfully told his mother, holding the turtle out to her.

The mother kissed him on the head, then said, "That's all right. We'll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, then have a nice burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for an ice cream soda, and then get you a new pet. I don't want you...." Her voice trailed off as she noticed the turtle move.

"Freddie, your turtle is not dead after all."

"Oh," the disappointed boy said. "Can I kill it?"

Using the mind of a child, it's easy to see why Freddie felt that way. In his immature mind, the "blessing" of an ice cream soda more than made up for any loss suffered through the death of a pet.

There is a sense, though, in which the benefits of death far outweigh any sadness we might feel. The apostle Paul frequently wrote of the need to "put to death" the sinful behavior that once characterized our lives. We're well aware of what he's talking about because we constantly struggle with temptation. Just when we think we've given our sins the death blow, they resurface with new life. Putting them to death is not an easy thing to do. It helps to be reminded of the benefits of doing so:

"For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live." (Rom. 8:13)

The thought of "living" with God far outweighs any sadness I might experience from putting to death those "deeds of the body."

Father, as I look at my sinful behavior which resurfaces from time to time only to hurt and disappoint you so much -- that behavior which you hate even more than I do, enough to sacrifice your only Son -- I have only one question: Can I kill it?

flow

The story is told about a woman who called her husband on his car phone as he was on his way home from work and she said, “Honey, you need to be careful. I just saw on the news that there’s some nut driving the wrong way on the Interstate.” Her husband said, “There’s not just one nut, there’s hundreds of them!”

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt like trying to do God’s will makes you go the wrong way down the road? All the traffic’s coming the other way. Have you ever thought, “If everybody’s going this way, it’s so hard to go against the flow. Would God really mind if I just turned around for a little while?”

An article in The London Times a couple of years ago reported that there are currently about 200 million Christians in over 60 countries who are being persecuted for their faith. Because we have freedom in the United States to worship God, those of us who live here sometimes we forget just how many people in this world live under oppression – by Communist authorities or Muslim authorities, or authorities who simply oppose God and the people who follow God.

And even if you don’t face governmental oppression, there are no doubt many of you who live with oppression – in your home, in your workplace or at your school – oppressed by a family member or boss or teacher who makes it difficult on you as a Christian. More and more, we all are living in an anti-God culture. We live in an environment that makes it difficult at times for us to stand up for God.

We must remember the words of Paul: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2)

No matter which way the crowd around you is flowing, may you have the courage to travel the direction that God would have you to travel.

advice

The wife was busy frying eggs, when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and immediately started yelling. "CAREFUL!!! CAREFUL! MORE OIL! TURN THEM! TURN THEM NOW! WE NEED MORE OIL! THEY ARE GOING TO STICK! CAREFUL! CAREFUL! TURN THEM! TURN THEM!!! HURRY UP! ARE YOU CRAZY! THE OIL IS GOING TO SPILL! USE MORE SALT! THE SALT!!" 

The wife was very upset, "What is wrong with you? Why are you yelling like this? Do you think I don't know how to fry an egg?" 

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted you to know what it's like for me when I am driving the car and you're sitting next to me." 

Without making specific judgments about wives giving advice to their husbands while driving (or about husbands giving advice to their wives while cooking!), let me simply say that we all need to be conscious of how we give advice to others. The author of the book of Proverbs has much to say on the subject. In fact, the words “tongue”, “mouth”, “lips” and “words” are mentioned in Proverbs almost 150 times!

Consider these thoughts:

Know all the facts before you give advice – “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.” (Prov. 18:13)

Give advice in a calm manner – “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Prov. 15:1)

Be careful about giving unsolicited advice – “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” (Prov. 10:19)

But when advice is needed, be prepared to give godly advice – “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.” (Prov. 15:28)

Above all, give advice out of a sincere love for your friend – “Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (Prov. 27:5-6)

When you give advice, may it be "a word fitly spoken" (Prov. 25:11) because "a word spoken in due season, how good it is!" (Prov. 15:23)

wisdom

There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He would not be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to do something about the child. 

One person told the boy that he would, if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. This reasoning was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist nor a scholar. 

A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be carried out only on special occasions. The third person offered the neighbors plugs for their ears; a fourth gave the boy a book; a fifth gave the neighbors books that described a method of controlling anger through biofeedback; a sixth person gave the boy meditation exercises to make him placid and docile. None of these attempts worked. 

Eventually, a wise person came along with an effective motivation. He looked at the situation, handed the child a hammer and chisel, and asked, "I wonder what's inside the drum?" 

Ah, the wisdom of that man! It reminds me of the wisdom demonstrated by King Solomon when two women came to him fighting over which of them was the true mother of a baby (I Kings 3:16-28). Solomon was, of course, known for his great wisdom.

Solomon wrote, "Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her." (Prov. 3:13-15)

We need to understand, though, that knowledge and wisdom aren't the same thing. If you want to measure a person's knowledge, you give them a test. If they score 90 or above, they have a lot of knowledge. If they score below 50, there's not much knowledge there. But determining the measure of a person's wisdom is much more difficult. You have to look at how he lives and the decisions he makes.

James Draper has said, "Wisdom is the skill to live in a way that is pleasing to God. It is not simply information in our heads. It is information that we put to use -- where we live, where we work, and where we play."

We live in a world where everyone seeks knowledge. We value educaton. We read books. We watch news channels. But how many of us pursue wisdom to the same extent?

Be assured that wisdom is not something that you will stumble into by accident. It's a pursuit. It's a search. It requires an attitude that says, "I want to learn from God how to live, and I want to apply those principles to my life."

"Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding." (Proverbs 4:7)

thinking

Richard Fairchild tells the following story in his book, "Not Far From the Kingdom of God":

In the days of the circuit riders a minister was out riding one afternoon and came upon a man out working in his field.

"Fine day, isn't it?" the minister called out.

"It's fine for you", the man replied, "All you have to do is ride around on that horse thinking about God all day long, while I have to sweat here in this field and then walk home afterward. I don't think it is right you should have things so easy while I have to work so hard."

"On the contrary", the minister answered, "thinking about God is one of the most difficult things you can do. And to prove it, I'll give you this horse if you can think about God and nothing else for one minute."

"You're on," said the man and immediately he sat down in silence. Thirty seconds later he looked up at the minister, and said, "Does that include the saddle?"

I would agree that thinking about God and nothing else is a very difficult thing to do. I would also add, though, that it is just as hard for ministers as it is anyone else!

The apostle Paul wrote, "Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth." (Colossians 3:2).

But our mind is filled nearly every minute of the day with things on this earth -- concerns about things that have happened, concerns about things that will (or might) happen, concerns about what we have (or don't have), concerns about how to get what we don't have, concerns about people that have done us wrong, concerns about what we want others to do for us.

And our mind is so crowded with the things of this world, that there's just not much room left for God. It's hard to think about God and God alone, for there is so much competing for our attention.

Allow me to give you this challenge -- think about God and nothing else for one minute. If you can achieve that goal, strive for five minutes. May thoughts of God increasingly fill your mind so that you can eventually say with the Psalmist all day long, "I will meditate on the glorious splendor of Your majesty, and on Your wondrous works." (Psalm 145:15)

? single

Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building -- a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself.

Shirley says," Sophie, you know I'm shy. Why don't you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely."

Sophie agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and says, "Excuse me, mister. I hope I'm not prying, but my friend and I were wondering why you looked so lonely."

"Of course I'm lonely, he says, "I've spent the past 20 years in prison."

"You're kidding! What for?"

"For killing my third wife. I strangled her."

"What happened to your second wife?"

"I shot her."

"And, if I may ask, your first wife?"

"We had a fight and she fell off a building."

"Oh my," says Sophie. Then turning to her friend on the other side of the pool, she yells, "Yoo hoo, Shirley. He's single!"

It worries me when I see single people overly anxious to find a mate. Perhaps, though, we have contributed to the situation by treating singleness like it's some sort of disease. Singles often comment that they feel out of place at church (activities tend to be family-oriented) and feel they are sometimes regarded as less important than married people. While marriage is a God-ordained institution, I think we do a disservice by suggesting that singles are somehow "incomplete" until they find that "certain someone."

The truth is, while Paul held marriage in high regard (Eph. 5), he preferred being single and recommended it to Christians at Corinth in the difficult situation they were facing (I Cor. 7). Single Christians have the opportunity to serve God in ways that married Christians would have difficulty doing. Of course, the opposite is also true.

So what is the lesson to be learned? Whatever situation you find yourself in, seek to serve God with all your heart. If you are single, use your singleness to serve God as best as you can. And if you're married, use your married status to do the same.

"But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk.....keeping the commandments of God is what matters." (I Cor. 7:17,19b)

pretend

The story is told of a married couple who enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, but it was the husband who was always behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore." So she drove the boat to shore.

Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I'm having a heart attack. You must set the table, cook the dinner, and wash the dishes."

It's not a very pleasant thing to pretend such a thing, but there are some legitimate concerns we should have. I wouldn't consider it at all out of place for an insurance salesman to ask the question, "If you were to have a heart attack today, would your wife and children be taken care of?"

An even more important question, though, needs to be raised as we consider our spiritual relationship with God. If I were to have a heart attack tonight and die, would I be prepared to stand before the great judgment seat of Christ? It's a legitimate question. When I was a teenager, I thought that I would live forever. As I grow older, I become more and more aware of the fact that each day is a blessing provided by God, and I am not promised even one more.

"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit'; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away." (James 4:13-14)

I know it requires a degree of seriousness that may make you a bit uncomfortable, but just for a moment, pretend that you are having a heart attack. Are you prepared for eternity?

sleep

I heard recently about a college professor who had the mysterious habit of walking into the lecture hall each morning, removing a tennis ball from his jacket pocket. He would set it on the corner of the podium. After giving the lecture for the day, he would once again pick up the tennis ball, place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the room. No one ever understood why he did this, until one day. . . . 

A student fell asleep during the lecture. The professor never missed a word of his lecture while he walked over to the podium, picked up the tennis ball and threw it, hitting the sleeping student squarely on the top of the head. 

The next day, the professor walked into the room, reached into his jacket, removed a baseball. . . No one ever fell asleep in his class the rest of the semester! 

I would imagine that many of us have had the experience of falling asleep at a time when we should have stayed awake -- perhaps in a classroom or during a sermon. In the scriptures, poor Eutychus will forever be known for only one thing -- falling asleep during a sermon and falling out the window!

For those of you who aren't familiar with this Bible story (found in Acts 20:7-12), there was a young man by the name of Eutychus (a side note: ironically, his name means “fortunate”) who attended a worship service where the apostle Paul was speaking. No doubt, Eutychus was tired and perhaps his stomach was full. He found a spot near a window where he could get some fresh air because oil lamps lighted the room and the air would have been a bit stuffy. We're told that Paul talked on and on until after midnight. Luke tells us that the young man fought sleep and gradually lost the battle. When he nodded off, he fell out of the third-story window. Fortunately, the story has a happy ending as he was raised back to life by Paul.

Those of us who are preachers are inclined to say that the moral of this story is that you should never fall asleep during a sermon (though I suspect others may say that the moral is that preachers shouldn't preach so long -- it can be dangerous!). But of even greater concern than falling asleep in our worship is the fact that we sometimes fall asleep in our walk with Christ. We grow weary, we lose our concentration, our mind drifts off to other things, and the result can be deadly!

The apostle Paul warns us: "Therefore, let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober." (I Thess. 5:6).

Is your mind focused on God? Are you listening carefully to Him, submitting to His Spirit? If you're growing weary, it's time to wake up!

cleared

A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this evening. In all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it!"

"What happened?"

"I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks."

"Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did you do with them?"

"I charged one and let the other off."  

Spiritually speaking, those of us who are Christians have been both "charged" and "let off." We are charged with sin (and rightfully so, for we are guilty). "For we have previously charged both Jews and Greeks that they are all under sin." (Rom. 3:9)

But, those of us who are Christians who have put on Christ have also been "let off" because Jesus Christ has paid the price for our sins. We have been justified, "just as if I'd" never sinned. "Therefore let it be known to you, brethren, that through this Man is preached to you the forgiveness of sins; and by Him everyone who believes is justified from all things from which you could not be justified by the law of Moses." (Acts 13:38-39)

To be charged is a frightful thing (those of you who have received tickets can vouch for that). To have a judge say, "I find you guilty, but I'm going to pay the fine for you" is inconceivable. Yet, that's exactly what has happened! May our lives demonstrate the gratitude we feel.

jonny

In his book, "Will Daylight Come?" Robert Heffler pens this moving illustration:

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with, out in the woods. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target. Getting discouraged, he headed back to dinner.

As he was walking back, he saw Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved. In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the woodpile, only to see his sister watching. Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch that day Grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the dishes."

But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen today, didn't you Johnny?" And then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?" So Johnny did the dishes.

Later Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing, and Grandma said, "I'm sorry, but I need Sally to help me make supper."

But Sally smiled and said, "Well, that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help." And she whispered again, "Remember the duck?" Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's, he finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he killed the duck. She knelt down, gave him a hug, and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing. But because I love you, I forgave you. But, I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you."

May you seek to know God's forgiveness, and the freedom that goes with it.

characters

Someone has suggested the following theme songs for Bible characters (Warning: some of these are real oldies!):

Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head"

Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise"

Lazarus: "The Second Time Around"

Esther: "I Feel Pretty"

Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues"

Moses: "The Wanderer"

Jezebel: "The Lady is a Tramp"

Samson: "Hair"

Salome: "I Could Have Danced All Night"

Daniel: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"

Joshua: "Good Vibrations"

Peter: "I'm Sorry"

Esau: "Born To Be Wild"

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: "Great Balls of Fire!"

The Wise Men: "When You Wish Upon a Star"

Elijah: "Up, Up, and Away"

Methuselah: "Stayin' Alive"

Nebuchadnezzar: "Crazy"

There was no theme song suggested for Jesus Christ. May I suggest the following song, entitled "A New Song," first sung by those two famous groups, "The Four Living Creatures" and "The Twenty-Four Elders":

"You are worthy to take the scroll, and to open its seals; For you were slain, and have redeemed us to God by your blood out of every tribe and tongue and people and nation, and have made us kings and priests to our God; And we shall reign on the earth.....Worthy is the Lamb who was slain to receive power and riches and wisdom, and strength and honor and glory and blessing!" (Rev. 5:9-10,12)

I don't know about you, but I look forward to joining them someday in this great song of praise. Worthy is the Lamb!

pain

Here are the answers to some questions that you may have heard about pregnancy:

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?

A. No, 35 children is enough.

Q. I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?

A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?

A.. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?

A. Childbirth.

Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.

A. So what's your question?

Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?

A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?

A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A. Yes, pregnancy.

Q. Does pregnancy cause headaches?

A. Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

A. When the kids are in college. 

The joy of pregnancy and childbirth! Mothers are quick to tell me that those two words don't belong together with the word "joy". And here's a helpful tip (from personal experience) for you fathers. When your wife is in labor and the needle on the graph is showing her contractions, don't ever say, "Is that the highest you can make the needle jump?" At that point, she will not see the humor in the situation. It will only make her angry. (Trust me!)

The Bible refers often to pregnancy and childbirth. But it never speaks of it as a time of joy. Rather, it refers accurately to the "pains of childbirth."

In Romans 8, Paul draws a parallel between what an expectant mother experiences and what we (and all of creation) experience as we await the return of Jesus Christ:

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.....We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies." (Romans 8:18,22-23, NIV)

A mother in labor may feel the pain will never end. With what you are going through right now in your life, you may feel the same way. Someday, though, for God's children, the pain will pass and the joy will be greater than we ever imagined. For that day we "wait eagerly"!