...carrying

The story or legend is told how two monks, when traveling back to their monastery in inclement weather, came to the fjord of a river. There they met a young woman who was afraid to cross the river. Seeing her dilemma, one of the monks offered to carry her across the river on his back which offer she accepted.

Later that evening the monk who didn't help the young lady accused the monk who did of breaking the rules of their monastic order. "You know we are to have no dealings with the opposite sex," he said, "and you were wrong in doing what you did."

To which the other monk quietly replied, "I carried her only across the river. You are carrying her still."

When we fail to resolve our anger, and keep nursing our grudges, we not only give a "mighty foothold to the devil," but we also hurt ourselves, damage our physical well-being, and do serious harm to our close relationships. As another has said, when we nurse our grudges and fail to forgive those who have hurt us, "It's like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

So, is there anything you are still carrying? 

Any grudges, resentments, bitterness, hurts, unresolved grief? 

If so, I urge you to follow the advice of the Scriptures and resolve these issues right away. 

And, if necessary, see a qualified counselor to help you to do so. 

Your health and relationships depend on it.

-dick innes

...trust

The high cost of lying and deception by politicians and police, corporate executives and clergy, and journalists, accountants, and educators has weakened every major social institution.

As each of these professions wages its separate battle to remove the cloud of suspicion and cynicism that hovers over it, there are certain truths about trust that must be understood and dealt with.

1. there's no shortcut to building trust. In fact, rebuilding trust on the rubble of lost credibility is much harder. The antidote is nothing less than scrupulous and consistent honesty—especially when the truth is costly.
2. where trust is important, there are no small lies. In some ways, lies, however trivial they may seem, are like germs. Without the antibody of trust, they cause infections that can kill credibility.
3. the lethal quality of lies lasts long after they're told. Even lies told years ago can have an immediate poisonous effect on trust when they're discovered. Think of all the prominent people who've been undone by the discovery of falsehoods on old resumes.
4. while honesty and forthrightness may not always pay dividends, dishonesty and concealment always cost. In some settings, nothing good may come of admitting wrongdoing, but it can get a lot worse if you don't.
5. lies breed other lies. It's harder to tell just one lie than to have just one potato chip. Once you start lying, it takes an ever-growing bodyguard of new falsehoods to protect the old ones.

Don't be seduced by the "fight fire with fire" excuse or all you'll end up with are the ashes of your integrity. Self-justifications aside, you can't lie to a liar or cheat a cheater without becoming a liar or cheater.

-character count

...promise

As a school child I was taught the importance of keeping my word and my promises. "It is a mark of character," my teacher emphasized. Unfortunately, the following story which I read some time ago, typifies far too many people in today's "hang-loose" society and, pathetically, far too many business people.

According to the story, "There was a rich young man who became critically ill and was taken to the hospital. His condition worsened, and his doctor told him that he wasn't sure if he'd recover, but that they would do all they could for him. The man was terrified and said to the doctor, 'Please, doctor, do everything you can, I don't want to die, I have so much to do yet in life, and if you can help me get better, I'll even donate $10,000 to the fund for the new hospital.' The young man happily began to improve and recovered, and a few weeks later was released and went home.

"Several months later he ran into the doctor who asked him how he was doing. The young man said, 'Doc, I haven't felt better any time in my life.' The doctor said, 'that's great because I wanted to ask you about the money you said you would donate to the new hospital fund. You remember you said if you got well, you'd like to donate $10,000. We could really use that now.' The young man said, 'Man, if I said that, I must have been really sick.'"

Keeping one's word and his/her promises is indeed a mark of character. May it be said of you and me, "He is a man of his word," and/or "If she says she'll do it, you can count on her to do it." And what about our promises to God? May we always keep them.

-dick innes

...am

"That's just the way I am." When we hear this, someone's usually telling us to "Get off my back" or "Accept me as I am."

Often it's a response to us criticizing them. 

It could be about the person's chronic lateness, 

thoughtlessness, 

broken promises, 

physical or verbal abuse, or infidelity. 

Whatever it is, we're asked to let it go.

In the end, this is a ploy to get us to lower our expectations, based on the dubious idea that bad habits are an intrinsic part of character, and therefore beyond our control. We're expected to believe it's foolish and futile to expect others to change.

Lots of things, of course, are beyond our control: short stature, big bones, receding hairline. Fortunately, character is different. That's completely within our control. The poor and the rich, the slow and the smart, the plain and the pretty all have an equal opportunity to become people of character.

Sure, character can be influenced by heredity and environment, but it's determined by choice. 

No disposition, circumstance, or experience is so powerful that it forever fixes our character. 

Our character is never finished. 

It's constantly shaped and sculpted by the choices we make to nurture or ignore our more noble instincts and to surrender to, or overcome, negative impulses and corrupting temptations.

When it comes to what we demand of ourselves or others, we should never lower our standards. Character is a function of choice. 

Weaknesses and bad habits are not excuses not to get better.

-character counts

...porn

During World War II, Nazi Germany dropped pornographic pamphlets from the sky over enemy territory.

The reason? To distract the soldiers' minds with fascinations, causing them to ignore the front line. This has been the strategy of porn from its inception; while we fight the diversionary tactic of pornography, the enemy rolls in behind our backs and destroys our homes.

Imagine conquering an entire nation in less than 60 years by simply planting destructive seed in the minds of a few men and watching it spread to the masses. That is what Satan did through the likes of Hugh Heffner and Bob Guccione in the 50s when Playboy and Penthouse became nationally distributed magazines. 

Over the years, images of undressed women and men engaged in illicit activity have jumped from the pages of ... magazines to the privacy of our own personal computer screens. Today, US porn revenue exceeds the revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC combined, and contrary to its previous consumer group of mostly adult males; its largest demography today is 12-17-year-old males and females.

Jesus knew that something as small as gazing at the bait would [or could] lead to total entrapment.

-paul kendall

...soar

Did you know that an eagle knows when the storm is approaching long before it breaks? 

The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come.

When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it. The eagle doesn't escape the storm; it simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm.

When the storms of life come upon us—and all of us will experience them—it may not be easy, but we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief in Jesus, our God—and daily committing and trusting our life and way to Him. The storms do not have to overcome us. We can allow God's power to lift us above them. God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, but rather, how we handle them.

As God's Word says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."Romans 8:28 

Admittedly, this can take time.

-dick nichol 

...responsibility

Two young men in Florida removed a stop sign and brought it back to their fraternity house as a trophy. Shortly afterward, a fatal accident occurred at the sign-less intersection. The students were convicted of manslaughter.

In Tennessee, two teenagers were in a high-rise building. One dared the other to slide down a trash chute. His friend did so—right into an automatic trash compactor. The one who egged him into the fatal accident was traumatized, possibly for life.

Four college fraternity students in California were charged with manslaughter when a pledge they were hazing died after they forced him to drink gallons of water.

What makes these stories all the more tragic is that we're not talking about bad kids. We're talking about fundamentally decent kids who made really bad choices.

The recurring nightmare of caring parents is that, during the course of growing up, their children will seriously damage themselves by unwise decisions. An endless array of bad consequences can result from reckless conduct to impress friends, thrill seeking, or giving in to the temptation of drugs, alcohol, or sex. And when kids get involved with irresponsible, manipulative, cruel, selfish, or simply stupid people who call themselves friends, there's no telling what dumb things they will do.

All youngsters will make foolish mistakes, as we did. Still, we can equip them with reasoning tools that can help them see and avoid really big, bad choices.

We can improve their decision-making skills by talking to them often about the importance of acting rationally, even when everyone around them seems overtaken by impulse. We can tell them stories to help them evaluate situations and anticipate potential consequences.

-character counts

...night

"Sit up!" the voice in the night said, "and take a deep breath."

It was a stormy night, a personal friend shared, and we were awakened by an extremely loud clap of thunder. After the initial fright, checking the kids and the house, we went back to bed and to sleep.

Then came the voice. I was certain I heard someone speaking. "Sit up and take in a deep breath," it said. I only half-awoke and thought I must have been dreaming, so rolled over and went back to sleep.

The voice spoke again with more insistence, "Sit up and take in a deep breath."

This is weird, I thought, so again rolled over and went back to sleep.

"SIT UP! Take in a deep breath!" the voice spoke again with great urgency.

So I sat up and took in a deep breath ... and smelled smoke! I was fully awake in an instant ... awakened my husband ... rushed to wake the children ... we had the oldest one phone 911 (for emergency) ... my husband took over the phone ... the operator asked if the lights were working ... my husband said they were going out one room at a time.

"Get OUT of the house immediately," declared the operator. "Your house has been struck by lightning."

As quick as a flash the family rushed outside ... immediately the house exploded and burst into flames. It took firemen six hours to put the fire out. The house was totally destroyed ... but the entire family was saved - linda hook 

Talk about a God-wake-up call!

Surely this was a God thing. Fortunately the members of this family were committed followers of Jesus Christ, and even though they lost their house, their lives were saved. Furthermore, God has used this happenstance to touch and encourage many thousands of others.

God doesn't usually speak to most of us in an audible voice. He doesn't have to because his "wake-up call" is spoken to us repeatedly in his Word, the Bible.

"Wake up!" God says to every one of us, "Flee from the wrath to come" Matthew 3:7 (God's judgment of a world that has turned from Him to go its own sinful ways). "Wake up!" "It is appointed unto man once to die and after this the judgment." Hebrews 9:27

"Wake up!" "I will come again," Jesus said and promised to take all who believe in him to be with him in heaven forever. John 14:3 "Wake up!" Jesus is coming again ... it may be today. If it were, would you be ready? Again Jesus said, "I stand at the door [of your heart and life] and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in." Revelation 3:20

Whatever you do don't miss God's wake-up call. 

-dick innes

...choice

In a Peanuts cartoon, 

Lucy asks Charlie Brown, "Why do you think we were put on earth?"

Charlie answers, "To make others happy."

Lucy replies, "I don't think I'm making anyone happy," and then adds, "but nobody's making me very happy either. Somebody's not doing his job!"

People like Lucy are so sure happiness is a matter of getting something that they ask, not what they can do for others but what others can and should do for them. They usually feel shortchanged or cheated. They become so preoccupied with what they don't have that they can't enjoy what they do have.

What's more, they don't realize one of the best ways to be happy is to experience the joy and self-worth of making others happy.

In his book, Happiness Is a Serious Problem, Dennis Prager argues that it's human nature to want and feel we need more. The problem is, the quest for more is endless because we can always add more to whatever we have. 

As a result, the Lucys of the world often live in an "if only" world that keeps them one step away from happiness: "If only I get this raise, make this sale, pay off my debts, or win this game, I'll be happy."

Abraham Lincoln understood that happiness is essentially a way of looking at one's life: "A person is generally about as happy as he's willing to be."

Thus, we're more likely to experience happiness if we realize it's not just getting what we want. It's learning to want what we get.

-character counts

...sprint

Life is a "long distance run"—however, there are times when you need to "sprint." When those times come—in work or in your personal life—do whatever it takes. Put in the hours, focus on the issue, and put aside most everything else. 

Good business leaders do this all the time. When the job is completed, then take time off, or just slow the pace down. The trick, of course, is to know when you must sprint.

There are those who sprint all the time; this never works long term. They burn out. Workaholics do this and they pay a price. Sometimes their health suffers and many times it's their personal life that pays the price. 

Some others are addicted to adrenaline and always seem to need the rush of sprinting. These types seem to get down a lot. One day they are motivated like crazy, and the next day they can't seem to get going.

-raymond lammie

...eraser

What did you hide in your pockets when you were a kid? 

What do you keep in your pockets now? 

Perhaps there is a treasure stuffed into your pocket right now!

It was Poppa's birthday, and there was never a little boy more anxious to please his grandfather than Lance. The family party with cake and gifts was not enough for Lance. He was a big boy now. He was three years old and he wanted to give his own present.

As little boys will do, Lance always had pockets full of junk, including erasers. For some reason he dearly loved erasers. He thought it was magical that they could make pencil marks and even finger prints on the walls disappear.

Poppa was engrossed in the newspaper. "Poppa," said Lance. "Happy Birthday, Poppa. I have my own present for you." Poppa lowered the paper and looked over the top of his glasses. Lance reached down deep into the pocket of his patched Levis and struggled to pull out a tiny gift wrapped in a Kleenex and a rubber band twisted into a bow. "It's for you, Poppa. It's my favorite eraser. Cause, Poppa, I really love you." 

Then Lance's little freckled face broke into a huge grin. "I have something else for you Poppa, cause I love you." He struggled again to reach down to the bottom of his Levi pocket. He pulled his chubby dimpled hand out and opened it to reveal some coins. "Here Poppa, you can have all my money. 

This is all the money I've got, and it's for you, Poppa. Happy Birthday."

Now tears are sneaking their way down Poppa's cheeks. "Oh, Lance, I can't take all your money." "Yeah, Poppa, it's for you 'cause you are my Poppa and I love you. Is it lots of money, Poppa? How much is it?" "Oh yes, it's lots of money, Lance. It's 37 cents. Thank you very, very much." It was only an eraser and thirty seven cents given by a little boy in patched Levis. Yet that simple act of unreserved giving brought Heaven to earth in one stunning moment. A sweaty dimpled little hand revealed a glimpse of God.

Who do you love enough to give everything you have in your pockets? Has anyone ever given everything for you? Well, Jesus gave his all when he gave his life for you. As he surrendered his life, he erased all your mistakes and misdeeds simply because He loves you.

-sandra herron

...responsibility

It's been said that the line between childhood and adulthood is crossed when we move from saying, "It got lost" to "I lost it." Indeed, being accountable and understanding and accepting the role our choices play in the things that happen are crucial signs of emotional and moral maturity. That's why responsibility is one of the main pillars of good character.

Many people have been seduced by the Peter Pan philosophy of refusing to grow up and avoiding the burdens implied in being accountable. Yes, responsibility sometimes requires us to do things that are unpleasant or even frightening. It asks us to carry our own weight, prepare and set goals, and exercise the discipline to reach our aspirations. 

But the benefits of accepting responsibility far outweigh the short-lived advantages of refusing to do so. No one makes his or her life better by avoiding responsibility. 

Irresponsibility is a form of self-imposed servitude - to circumstances and to other people.

Responsibility is about our ability to respond to circumstances and to choose the attitudes, actions, and reactions that shape our lives. It is a concept of power that puts us in the driver's seat.

The grand panorama of the potential of our lives can only be appreciated when we begin to be accountable and self-reliant. Responsible people not only depend on themselves but show others that they can be depended on. 

This breeds trust, and trust is a key that opens many doors.

If you want more control over your life and the pleasures, prerogatives, and power of freedom and independence, all you have to do is be responsible.

-character counts

...personal

When someone disagrees with you, it's not always a personal attack. 

The ability to hear someone else's view without letting it get under your skin is powerful. 

I once shared a room, while away on a baseball tournament, with a lawyer. 

We had opposite views on just about everything. 

We both did a lot of listening (and talking) during the week. 

Both of us came away from that experience with more understanding and compassion for the other's views. To this day we are best of friends, even though we still do not agree on many issues. The key was that we didn't take it personal. 

When one rejects your way or your ideas, it doesn't mean they reject you!

-raymond lammie

...rubble

American journalist Frank Thorp was in an area about six hours north of Port-au-Prince when the earthquake occurred in Haiti on that Tuesday afternoon. He felt the ground shake where he was, but he assumed that it was just a small quake. He soon learned, however, that it was a 7.0-magnitude tremor that caused massive destruction in the Haitian capital—where his wife Jillian was located!

Then Frank received a terrifying ten-second phone call from his wife. She told him that she was trapped beneath the rubble of their home. That was all of the message that she was able to communicate! Frank immediately got into his car to make the journey home as quickly as possible, unsure of the condition of his wife.

When he finally arrived at his home, he discovered that it had collapsed to ground level and his wife was still trapped underneath along with a co-worker. Frank immediately joined some Haitian workers as they tried to dig them out of the rubble. He saw Jillian's hand and heard her voice telling him to keep it together and get her out.

"We had to pull bricks and bricks and bricks and wood and doors and metal away for at least an hour before we were able to get her and her co-worker out," he said.

After being trapped beneath the rubble for about 10 hours, Jillian was finally rescued by her loving husband.

This successful rescue in the midst of the current devastation and desperation in Haiti reminds us of another search and rescue mission....

Because of our wrong choices, YOU and I were trapped in the rubble of sin, destined to die!

But God, knowing our plight, sent His son Jesus to save us from sin. His journey was of too great a distance to measure in miles or hours, because He came from heaven to earth, from immortality to mortality, from tranquility to trouble Philippians 2:5-8.

In order to rescue us from the wreckage of sin, Jesus had to give His life for us. 

He died as payment for our redemption from sin Ephesians 1:7. 

He has promised to redeem those who believe and trust Him Acts 16:30-31, 

turn from sin in repentance Acts 17:30-31, 

confess Him before men Romans 10:9-10, 

and are baptized (immersed) in His name for the forgiveness of sins Acts 2:38

While WE are pinned under the condemnation of sin, 

God reaches out His saving hand to us through Jesus. 

Won't YOU take His hand in trusting obedience and be rescued?

-david a sergeant 

...support

Some time ago an experiment was conducted to measure people's capacity to endure pain. How long could a barefooted person stand in a bucket of ice water? It was discovered that when there was someone else present offering encouragement and support, the person standing in the ice water could tolerate pain twice as long as when no one else was present.

Most people are aware of who Moses was—the leader of the ancient Israelites who, when leading this young nation out of slavery in Egypt, faced many a battle when conquering the Promised Land given to them by God. In one battle God told Moses that as long as he held his hands heavenward, God would give the Israelites victory over the enemy. If he lowered his hands, the enemy would gain the upper hand. You can imagine how exhausting this would have been for Moses. 

So, "When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset."Exodus 17:12

What was true for Moses is also true for you and me. We all need encouragement and support. This is especially true when we are going through tough times; we need the support of loving friends to hold up our hands.

"Therefore," as God Word says, "encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."1 Thessalonians 5:11

-dick innes

...wise

I suspect all of us have been hurt in deep and lasting ways by the words or acts of another. It's normal in such situations to feel hostility toward, be angry with, and make negative judgments about the person who hurt us. If we continue to think we're right to be offended, the tendency is to carry the hurt and resentment in the form of a grudge. Usually this causes far more unhappiness for us than the person we're mad at.

Some religions speak of forgiveness as a moral duty, others simply as a worthy virtue. Still others impose certain preconditions on the wrongdoer before he or she is entitled to be forgiven. Whatever your religious views, it's clear to psychologists that the ability to forgive is closely correlated to happiness and mental health.

Some people refuse to even entertain the idea of forgiveness because they don't think the person they resent deserves to be forgiven. Others don't want to appear to condone or excuse the conduct, and they certainly don't want to reconcile with the person.

The essence of forgiveness is a voluntary decision to abandon the resentment, to let go of the anger, and to move on. It doesn't require or imply condoning, excusing, or forgetting. Nor does it require that the forgiver re-establish a relationship with the wrongdoer.

According to Dr. Ben Dean, the capacity to forgive is related to the character strength of empathy. People who can empathize with an offender and see things from that perspective are better able to forgive. He also says that the older we get, the more forgiving we're likely to become.

Hmmm. 

We usually get wiser, too. 

So maybe it's wise to forgive.

-character counts

...purpose

The Taj Mahal is regarded as one of the most beautiful buildings in all the world. What you may not know is how the building of that structure came about. It was begun after the death of the wife of emperor Shah Jahan. 

He was devastated at her death and resolved to honor her by constructing a temple that would serve as her tomb. Her coffin was placed in the center of a large parcel of land, and construction of the temple began around it. No expense would be spared to make her final resting place magnificent.

One of the stories surrounding that building tells us that, as the weeks turned into months, the Shah's grief over his wife's death turned into a passion for the building project. He no longer mourned her absence. 

The construction consumed him. One day, while walking from one side of the construction site to the other, his leg bumped against a wooden box. The prince brushed the dust off his leg and ordered the worker to throw the box out.

What Shah Jahan didn't know is that he had ordered the disposal of the coffin of his late wife. And so the one the temple was intended to honor was forgotten, but the temple was erected anyway.

There is the same danger with church buildings and with churches. If we're not careful, we can forget the purpose for which we were constructed. We can become so consumed with the building process [or even our programs], that we forget the one in whose honor the building is intended.

The apostle Peter calls us back to our purpose:

"But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light" (I Peter 2:9).

We live in a world of darkness, a world that doesn't know God. It is our responsibility to "proclaim the praises of him who called [us] out of darkness into his marvelous light."

We don't exist so that people can say, "What a great building this is." 

We don't even exist so that people can say, "What a great bunch of people this is." 

We exist so that people can look at us and say, "What a great God!"

-alan smith

...anger

One of the biggest barriers to forgiving those who have hurt us is our unresolved hurt and anger. More often than not, where there is hurt, there is anger. Both need to be resolved.

Unresolved or buried anger is extremely destructive. This is why the Bible teaches us to resolve it as quickly as possible. Unless we do, it can turn into resentment, bitterness, hostility, and even rage if enough of it is bottled up for long enough. It is destructive to our physical, emotional and spiritual health. It is also very damaging to relationships and can lead to deep depression. 

Being angry in and of itself is not sinful. It is how we handle it—or fail to handle it—that is either right or wrong, creative or destructive. No matter what the other person does to me, my anger is always my issue and my responsibility. Nobody makes me angry without my permission.

Anger needs to be directed to its source and felt and expressed (not just talked about) in creative ways. Wherever possible it pays to express these feelings to the one who hurt us, remembering always to "speak the truth in love." 

Where this isn't appropriate or possible, we can write out our feelings as David often did in the Psalms, read out loud what we have written, and then burn or throw away the copy. Or we can express these painful feelings to a trusted friend or counselor. Whatever we do we need to express them creatively and get them off our chest once and for all. This then clears the way for forgiveness; for as long as we nurse grudges and "sit" on our anger, we can never genuinely forgive anyone.

-dick innes

...expectations

The serious damage done to our economy, social institutions, and personal relationships by widespread cheating and dishonesty is bad enough. But widespread acceptance of such behavior as inevitable threatens to make our future a lot worse. 

In effect, our culture is being infected by a disease: the disease of low expectations.

The disease is manifested by the corrosive assumption that human nature can't be expected to withstand pressures or temptations. In other words, when there's a conflict between self-interest and moral principles, self-interest—in fact, short-term self-interest—will generally prevail.

Thus, whenever a politician lies to get elected, a student cheats to get into college, or an executive commits fraud to save a job or earn a bonus, we blame the system rather than the individual. 

Under the influence of the disease of low expectations, an increasing army of apologists argue that both the carrot and the stick—previously thought to be valid motivating techniques—should be condemned and eliminated as corrupting influences that create irresistible pressures to cheat.

A school superintendent in Iowa once told me, "Cheating isn't the problem; it's the way we test." We can't expect students not to cheat, he implied, especially when the stakes are so high.

I wonder whether he would be as comfortable with a similar explanation of recent corporate scandals: "Fraudulent accounting isn't the problem; it's the way we compensate executives."

Don't buy into this dreadfully pessimistic and perverted perspective about human nature. 

Cheating is wrong and harmful. 

Integrity is real and possible. 

It just takes character.

-character counts

...vision

Vision is everything for a leader. 

Why? Because vision leads the leader. 

It paints the target. It sparks and fuels the fire within, and draws him forward. 

It is also the fire lighter for others who follow that leader. 

Show me a leader without vision, and I'll show you someone who isn't going anywhere. 

At best, he is traveling in circles.

-john maxwell