testimony

For years I dealt with trying to understand why a situation in my life would not change.  I was saved, born again and struggling.  I felt rejected.  I had a broken heart that I thought would never heal.  My emotions had run away from me.  I found myself on a daily emotional rollercoaster ride.

The pain was so great, I felt paralyzed at times.  It was a stronghold on my mind.  I would cry and pray, but I did not have the faith to believe that God could change "ANY" situation.  I walked with my head down.  I had given up.  I could not understand why this situation had not changed.

As years passed by (yes...years!), I began to see that it was a bigger picture than I had ever imagined.  God was trying to teach me something, and I was so focused on what I did not have, that I could not see the awesome things God was trying to give me.  I now can see how God used this situation in my life to teach me unconditional love.  I now can see that God was making me, molding me, building my character, and teaching me integrity. He has given me an identity I never had.

"Thou shalt have no other gods before me."  (Exodus 20:3)

We have to be careful we don't make little gods out of our loved ones.  I now desire God the way I once craved that relationship.  It is still not the best relationship, but it is a good relationship.  I can say that today, because I am trusting God to mend it, fix it and heal it, like only He can do, in his timing.

Meanwhile, during the meantime, I can't get bitter, I must get better.  I look at all the things I have learned in these years as I dealt with this situation.  I know now that the enemy would have me focus on what is not, instead of what is. I truly know that today.  I know "who" I am in God, and "whose" I am - and that is the most important thing for me.  I must stay focused!

IT'S ALL ABOUT GOD; it's not about me.

Are you on an emotional rollercoaster today?  There are times in our lives when it seems that we are not going forward; but whatever you do, don't step backwards.  When you've done all you can do, stand! (Ephesians6:13)  Be patient and wait for God to do what He has to do.  THE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER IS OVER!

-Dorinda Hicks