Monday, June 13, 2016

grade

Someone has come up with this list of the ways that professors grade their final exams:
  • DEPT OF STATISTICS:  All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
  • DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY:  Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in.  The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
  • DEPT OF HISTORY:  All students get the same grade they got last year.
  • DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY:  What is a grade?
  • LAW SCHOOL:  Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
  • DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:  Grades are variable.
  • DEPT OF LOGIC:  If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
  • DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE:  Random number generator determines grade.
  • MUSIC DEPARTMENT:  Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively).
  • DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION:  Everybody gets an A.
     How do you suppose God will grade us on our "final exam"?  Some people think God will automatically pass everyone ("After all, He's so kind and loving, how could He do otherwise?").  Some people think God will grade on a curve ("I may be bad, but I'm not as bad as some people I know!"). Some people think God looks at the assignments you completed (the "good" things you did) and the assignments you failed (the "bad" things you did), and passes you if the good outweighs the bad.
     However, none of those ideas are accurate.  The truth is, God grades on a strict pass/fail basis -- either we pass (heaven) or we fail (hell).  And there is only one way to keep from failing:
     "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit." (Romans 8:1)
     For those who are "in Christ" and continue to walk "according to the Spirit", the grade is certain.  I don't know about you, but I'm anxious for the semester to end! 

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