divided

Lawrence Welk did not quite have a mastery of the English language. The following quotes were composed by Dick Wilson, a sound mixer who worked on "The Lawrence Welk Show" for more than three decades:

"Now the band will play a medley of tunes from World War Eye [World War I]."

During an audience warm-up: "I just wrote a book, but don't go out and buy it yet, because I don't think it's finished yet."

"There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them."

Introducing a guest performer: "His act may start out slow, but it tapers off."

Referring to rock music: "That's not my cup of dish."

To the band just before going on the air: "Boys, look like you're having fun, but don't have any."

To his stand-in: "Whenever you have a minute, I'd like to see you right now."

To a performer who apologized for being late and said he had no excuse: "That's no excuse."

"I just let it in one ear and out the top of my head."

Referring to a singing duo he first heard perform at a nightclub: "They were so good, I could hardly wait to get out of there."

"I'm keeping perfect time. I'll get my barometer (metronome) and prove it."

Then there was the time he accused a vocal group of being out of lip-sync when they were singing live...

To the pianist who was rehearsing: "Why do you do that? You play too many notes already."

"That's what really broke the camel's straw."

When a group of people came in to discuss problems in the band: "You know, when people band together, it causes a house divided."

If you're like me, you're left scratching your head at what was meant by some of those statements. Like that last statement. People banding together has never caused division! Quite the opposite -- people banding together causes unity. Refusal to communicate about problems, pride, jealousy and bitterness are the kinds of things that lead to "a house divided."

"For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." (James 3:16-18)

May your efforts today lead to peace and unity.