....complaining

 "Do everything without complaining" Philippians 2:14

Complaining is toxic. It contaminates both the complainer and everyone within earshot. Sometimes we think we're helping by complaining. We maintain, 'If somebody doesn't say something, nothing's ever going to change!' - as though positive change can come from negative words.

We imagine we've contributed something worthwhile by our complaint. But, complaining is what we do to avoid facing, dealing with and solving the problem. It's what we do instead of contributing to constructive change, and it makes us part of the problem instead of the solution. 

The more you complain the more problem-focused you become, and the more problem-focused you become the more you complain. Ultimately, your complaining affects you more than anyone else. The Psalmist said,  "...I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed." Psalm 77:3.

If no one else pays attention to your words, you do. Before you say them, you think them: "...out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" Matthew 12:34. And when you say them, you hear them and believe them just as you would the words of a trusted authority. 

Every time you repeat them you reinforce their power over you until eventually you make yourself the victim of your own complaints! Your spirit (attitude) will be overwhelmed, not by the problems and difficulties people bring to you, but as the self-inflicted product of your own complaints.

So, "Do all things without complaining... that you may become blameless and harmless... without fault... in a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world" Philippians 2:14-15.