?integrity

After a workshop, Paul (not his real name) told me he still has a 10-year-old scar from the time he quit a good job rather than lie.

When his boss asked him to issue a press release containing patently false statements, he refused, putting his employee badge on the table. His boss calmly handed the badge back, saying, "Think this over. Why throw away a good job and a promising career?"

Paul walked out so frustrated and frightened, he had to find a private place to cry. What's worse, he said his act of moral courage was a meaningless waste.

Someone else issued the press release, and his boss's career flourished. "It took me years to find a job as good as that one, and my family suffered," he added. "So what good did my integrity do for anyone?"

Paul was looking for validation of his principled stance in the wrong place. We exercise integrity not to get what we want, but to be what we want. Integrity isn't about winning. It's about staying whole and being worthy of self-respect and the esteem of loved ones. It's about being honorable, not as a success strategy but a life choice.

Although Paul suffered because of his moral courage, he would have suffered far worse had he betrayed his values. While he didn't appreciate it at the time, he preserved for himself and his family something far more valuable than his job—his honor.

It's no accident that he now has a better job and a better boss with no pressures to cheat or lie.

-character counts