fathers

Dads, give yourself a point for every one of these you've actually said to your kids:

Don't ask me, ask your mother. Close the door -- were you raised in a barn? You didn't beat me -- I let you win. Big boys don't cry. Don't worry, it's only blood. Don't you know any normal boys? Now you listen to ME, Buster! I'll play catch after I read the paper. Coffee will stunt your growth. A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off. Get your elbows off the table. I told you, keep your eye on the ball. Who said life was supposed to be fair? Always say please and thank you

-- that way, you get more. If you forget, you'll be grounded till the end of the world. You call that a haircut? "Hey" is for horses. This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you. Turn off those lights -- do

you think I'm made of money? Don't give me any of your lip, young

lady. You call that noise "music"? We're not lost -- I'm just not sure where we are. No, we're not there yet. Shake it off, it's only pain. When I was your age, I treated MY father with respect. As long as you live under my roof, you'll live by my rules. I'll tell you why -- because I said so, that's why! Do what I say, not what I do. Sit up straight! So you think you're smart , do you? What's so funny? Wipe that smile off your face. If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times. C'mon, you throw like a girl. You want something to do? I'll give you something to do. This is your last warning! What are your intentions with my daughter? I'd better get a good report, or you better head to Mexico. I'm not sleeping, I was watching that channel. What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off? I'm not just talking to hear my own voice! Don't believe everything you hear. What do you think I am, a bank? What part of NO don't you understand? I don't care what other fathers are doing -- I'm not everybody else's father! You're not leaving my house dressed like that! Hey, did you hear me talking to you? Don't use that tone with me! Am I talking to a brick wall? If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll.... Act your age. Wipe your feet! Don't make me stop the car! What did I just get finished telling you?

Some of the things we fathers say are downright embarrassing when we think about it. But, in our finer moments, it is our intention to give advice that will shape our children into the people God wants them to be. Though our children don't believe we can relate to anything that goes on in their lives, we can. With what we have learned over the years by listening to others and the experience of making wrong decisions, we want to share with our children a wisdom that will keep them on the right path.

"Hear, my children, the instruction of a father, and give attention to know understanding; For I give you good doctrine: Do not forsake my law. When I was my father's son, tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, he also taught me, and said to me: 'Let your heart retain my words; Keep my commands, and live. Get wisdom! Get understanding! Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth.'" (Prov. 4:1-5)