true

Two friends were discussing the possibility of love. "I thought I was in love three times," one friend says. "How so?" his friend asks.

"Five years ago I deeply cared for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me."

"Was that not love?" his friend asks.

"No," he replies. "That was obsession. And then two years ago I deeply cared for an attractive woman who didn't understand me."

"Was that not love?"

"No," he replies. "That was lust. And just last year I met a woman aboard a cruise ship to the Caribbean. She was smart, funny, and a great conversationalist. And everywhere I followed her on that boat, I would get this strange sensation in the pit of my stomach."

"Was that not love?" his friend asks.

"No," he replies. "That was motion sickness."

I think there are a lot of people who think they are (or were) in love who don't have a clue as to what love really is. And the result is that many marriages are suffering. You hear married couples say, "We're just not in love anymore." And I know right away what kind of "love" they had when they got married.

The Greeks had several different words for "love." Three are especially important in marriages. First, there was "eros", the word used to describe sexual attraction. It's important in marriages, but if that's the only kind of love a couple has, their love will only last until they find others more attractive (and that day will come). What some mean when they say , "I don't love you anymore" is "I'm not attracted to you anymore."

Second, there was "philia," a friendship love. This is the kind of love that says, "I enjoy being around you and talking to you and doing things with you." It is very important in a marriage, but again, if it is the only kind of love there is, the love will last only until you find someone else you enjoy talking to and doing things with. What most mean when they say, "I don't love you anymore" is "I don't enjoy being around you anymore."

The Bible, however, uses the word "agape" as the foundational love. It is a love of commitment, a love that says, "I'll be here for you regardless of what happens." It is the love that truly stays in there "for better or for worse." It is the kind of love that will love even when others are unlovable.

Make sure that your marriages (and other personal relationships) are grounded in "agape" -- true love!

"But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection." (Col. 3:14)