commit

The story is told of a man in a fancy restaurant who started to choke on a bone. A doctor rushed over, identified himself as a doctor, and reassured the man that he was going to be all right. He performed the Heimlich Maneuver and the bone popped out.

As the man's breath and voice returned he said, "I'm ever so grateful, doctor, how can I ever repay you?"

The doctor smiled and said, "I'll settle for one-tenth of what you were willing to pay while you were choking."

It's true, isn't it, that when you're facing a crisis (especially a life-threatening crisis), you would give everything you have to get through it. Money is no object!

We do the same thing on a spiritual level. How many times have you faced hardship and prayed, "Lord, if you'll just see me through this, I'll serve you faithfully the rest of my life!" or something similar? But what happens when the crisis passes? Those feelings of urgency about serving God pass as well. If we could commit ourselves to doing one-tenth of what we're willing to do in those moments, most of us would ascend to a new level of commitment.

Paul wrote, "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21)

Father, there are moments in my life when I am reminded of how much I need you and how urgent it is that I commit my life to you. All too often, though, those feelings disappear, and I quickly revert back to a less-than-satisfactory level of commitment. Please forgive me and strengthen me in my resolve to reach the point where I can say with the apostle Paul, "To me, to live is Christ." In Jesus' name

questions

The following is a "top ten" list of silliest questions asked on a cruise ship. They were collected in 1998 by Paul Grayson, cruise director for the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.

10. Do these steps go up or down?

9. What do you do with the beautiful ice carvings after they melt?

8. Which elevator do I take to get to the front of the ship?

7. Does the crew sleep on the ship?

6. Is this island completely surrounded by water?

5. Does the ship make its own electricity?

4. Is it salt water in the toilets?

3. What elevation are we at?

2. There's a photographer on board who takes photos and displays them the next day. The question asked: If the pictures aren't marked, how will I know which ones are mine?

1. What time is the Midnight Buffet being served?

They say there's no such thing as a foolish question, but the Bible would disagree. Now, any question asked in order to learn something is never foolish, but some questions are asked simply for the purpose of starting an argument. Many of the questions the scribes and Pharisees brought to Jesus fell into this category (see Matthew 21 for several examples). Jesus was the master at being able to handle those kinds of questions, throwing them back at the questioner without getting embroiled in their debate.

For us, though, the best response to such a question is usually to ignore it. The apostle Paul instructed Timothy:

"But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient..." (2 Timothy 2:23-24).

please 1

how married women should treat their husbands, I share with you the updated version for the modern woman (author unknown):

1. Have dinner ready: Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you'd like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been terrible and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.

2. Prepare yourself: A quick stop at the "LANCOME" counter on your way home will do wonders for your outlook (don't forget to use his credit card!)

3. Clear away the clutter: Call the housekeeper and let her know you'll need her for an extra day this week. Tell her that any miscellaneous items left on the floor by the children can be placed in the Goodwill box in the garage.

4. Prepare the children: Drop them off at grandma's!

5. Minimize the noise: When he arrives at home remind him that the washer and garbage disposal are still not working properly and the

noise is driving you crazy (but do this in a nice way and greet him

with a warm smile...this way he might fix it faster).

6. Some DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Let him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Simply remind him that the last one home does the cooking and the cleanup.

7. Make him comfortable: Remind him where he can find a warm fuzzy blanket if he's cold. This will show you really care.

8. Listen to him: But don't ever let him get the last word.

9. Make the evening his: a chance to get the washer and garbage disposal fixed.

10. The Goal: To try to keep things amicable without reminding him that you make more money than he does.

Thanks to all of you who wrote and had such nice things to say about Monday's article. It seems that the message struck a chord with quite a few of you (both young and old, both men and women). As I said in that message, I truly believe that applying the principle of "seeking to please one another" would strengthen our marriages.

And once we have applied that principle in our marriages, then we could take the drastic step of applying it in the church (after all, that was the setting Paul had in mind when he wrote the words quoted from Philippians 2:4). How many church disputes do you suppose have occurred just because somebody didn't get their way? As difficult as it may be to apply that principle in our marriages, it is even more difficult to apply it to all Christians. "You mean I'm just supposed to let him have it his way? But that's not fair! What I want is just as important as what he wants!"

What a difference would be made if we could all, "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus...." (Phil. 2:5). Selfishness is difficult to get rid of, but we must as we seek to grow in love, for love "does not seek its own." (I Cor. 13:5).

Father, please forgive me of those times when I have been so centered on my needs and my desires that I have been blind to the needs and desires of those around me. Help me to truly take on the "heart of a servant" that Jesus demonstrated while he was on this earth. In His precious name, amen.

please

The following is reported to be taken from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for high school girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life (Wednesday, I will share with you the updated '90s version):

1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.

4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to
see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise
of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the
children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm
smile and be glad to see him.

6. Some DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't
complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with
what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or
suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready
for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak
in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and
unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the
moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to
dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand
his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.

10. The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.

I can see it now -- The women are ready to send in their unsubscription notices, while the men are all running off copies to post on the refrigerator door!

My, how things have changed in 50 years! At the risk of being misunderstood, I think there's much to be learned from the textbook above (stay with me on this one). It strikes me that the attitude proposed during the 50's was "do everything you can to make your spouse happy", while the attitude of our day is "you better do everything you can to make me happy". The concept of actually making a concerted effort to please the other one seems antiquated. But, for Christians, it shouldn't be!

The biggest problem I see with the textbook above is that the sacrifice is lop-sided. Women were told to make sacrifices for the well-being of their husbands, but men were not expected to do any such thing. And that could not be further from Biblical truth. Husbands, in fact, are called to a higher level of sacrifice. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it." (Eph. 5:25).

Just imagine, though. What if both husbands and wives put as much effort into pleasing one another as the textbook above suggests? What if both husbands and wives stopped asking, "What have you done for me lately?" and started asking, "What can I do for you?" I know, often in a marriage one does all the giving and the other does all the taking, but just suppose that both spouses really made an effort to follow Paul's instruction: "Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." (Phil. 2:4). Sounds like the ingredients of a marriage made in heaven!

expecting

A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend. "You see," he explained, "my wife's expecting."

"Oh..." said the Officer, "I understand. Go ahead and tell your wife that I wish her luck."

The following week the same soldier was back again with the same explanation: "My wife's expecting."

The Officer looked surprised. "Still expecting?" he said, "Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the week-end off."

When the same soldier appeared again the third week, however, the Officer lost his temper. "Don't tell me your wife is still expecting!" he bellowed.

"Yes sir!" said the soldier resolutely, "She's still expecting."

"What in the world is she expecting?" cried the Officer.

"Me," said the soldier simply.

Christians are a people who live in expectation. We're expecting that someday all the wrongs of this world will be brought to justice. We're expecting that the sufferings of this life will someday be replaced by joys beyond our imagination. But, most of all, we're expecting our Lord to return for us and we are anxious for that day to come. Paul seems to indicate that all of creation is earnestly awaiting the same thing (Rom. 8:19).

"Now when [Jesus] had spoken these things, while [the apostles] watched, He was taken up, and a cloud received Him out of their sight. And while they looked steadfastly toward heaven as He went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel, who also said, 'Men of Galilee, why do you stand gazing up into heaven? This same Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will so come in like manner as you saw Him go into heaven.' " (Acts 1:9-11)

Are you expecting?

irritating

I heard a story recently about a student named Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (in Scotland), who was admitted into the prestigious Oxford University, and was living in the hall of residence in his first year there. His clan was so excited that one of their own had made it into the upper class of education, but they were concerned how he would do in "that strange land." After the first month, his mother came to visit.

"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.

"Mother," he replied in his thick brogue. "They're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head against the wall, and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams and screams, away into the night."

"Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbors?"

"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes..."

Sometimes it helps to realize that when we find people to be so irritating, it may well be that they find us to be the same (and perhaps for better reason). Even deeds done with the best of intentions can be irritating. Solomon said,

"He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it will be counted a curse to him." (Proverbs 27:14).

I suppose we could ask ourselves the question, "What am I doing that may be irritating others around me?" But I think we would be better served to ask it in a more positive way: "What am I doing to be a blessing to others around me?"

"A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!" (Proverbs 15:23)

gullible

A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26, 1997. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to the alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide." And for plenty of good reasons, since it can: 

1. cause excessive sweating and vomiting

2. it is a major component in acid rain

3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state

4. accidental inhalation can kill you

5. it contributes to erosion

6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes

7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical dihydrogen monoxide. Forty-three said yes, six were undecided, and only one knew that the chemical was...

WATER!!!

The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?" The conclusion is obvious. 

Religion is another area where people have a tendency to be gullible. Extreme examples can be found in David Koresh's followers and the Heaven's Gate cult. But it can happen any time we believe someone without checking out God's Word to see if what is being taught is the truth. Faith does not mean blindly accepting whatever anyone (even a preacher) says.

John warned, "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world." (I John 4:1).

Use God's Word to discern between what is true and what is false. And if you feel like living dangerously today, pour yourself a big tall glass of dihydrogen monoxide.

finito

While two visitors were visiting Annapolis, they noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are 

they doing?" one of them asked their tour guide.

"Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard."

"So what's the answer?" one of the visitors asked the tour guide when they were out of earshot of the freshmen.

The guide replied, "One."

That brings up an interesting theological question. How many sacrifices did it take to finish paying for our sins? The Jews would have needed lots of pencils and clipboards to make the calculation. "Let's see, let's take all the sin offerings, all the guilt offerings, the bulls, the goats, the lambs, the turtledoves......"

So what's the answer? How many sacrifices did it take to finish paying for our sins? Only one.

"And every priest stands ministering daily and offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But this Man, after He had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down at the right hand of God." (Heb. 10:11-12).

After thousands and thousands of sacrificial animals had been sacrificed, Jesus Christ gave his own life on the cross. Only then could it be said, "It is finished." (John 19:30).

100%

Today's seed for thought is short. It's a motto going around:

ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK:

12% Monday

23% Tuesday

40% Wednesday

20% Thursday

5% Friday

As much as we may hate to be reminded of it, Christians ought to allow their Christianity to affect their performance on the job. I truly believe that Christians should be the best workers an employee has. After all, can you picture anybody coming back to Jesus the carpenter complaining about shoddy workmanship? The words Paul wrote to servants in Colossae have just as much meaning to us no matter where we work:

"Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God. And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ." (Colossians 3:22-24).

mom

I have seen several versions of this going around, but this is my favorite:

My Mother taught me LOGIC...

"Because I said so, that's why."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE...

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT...

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE...

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL...

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My Mother taught me INTUITION...

"Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...

"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR...

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me RELIGION....

"You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about my ROOTS...

"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY... 

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS....

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me IRONY.... 

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about!"

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...

"Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about JUSTICE...

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU...then you'll see what it's like."

And she thought no one was listening!

Truth is, we all learned a lot from our mothers (though we never would have admitted it growing up!). What a double blessing those of us enjoy who had a Christian mother from whom we learned things of a spiritual nature.

"...I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also......from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus." (2 Timothy 1:5; 3:15).

Take a moment to give thanks to God for all that you learned from your mother. Better yet, why don't you give her a call and tell her!

...both

The following are some tips from Southerners for Northerners moving south. I do not know the author (but some of it sounds like it may have originated with Jeff Foxworthy):

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being right.

3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

6. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

7. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

8. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent.

9. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

10. People walk slower here.

11. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

12. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

13. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.

14. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

15. Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.

16. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.

17. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter if you need anything from the store, it's just something you're supposed to do.

18. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.

19. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle.

20. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

Our differences are great! But, through Christ, what we share in common is even greater!

"For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation...." (Ephesians 2:14).

Paul was speaking, of course, of the Jews and the Gentiles, but what he said about them could be said of any two groups of people separated by gender, economic status, ethnic background, or location in relation to the Mason-Dixon line. We are not only reconciled to God -- we are reconciled to one another.

Thanks be to God for the opportunity we all have to be a part of that one body!

sing

Every year, the "Stella" awards are given to the most outlandish lawsuits of the year. The award is named for Stella Liebeck, the Albuquerque, N.M. woman who became an instant millionaire after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee in her lap and winning a judgment against the fast-food chain.

Here are some definite candidates:

1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amok inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little boy was Ms. Robertson's son.

2. June 1998: 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

3. October 1998: Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up, because the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. Mr. Dickson sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars.

4. October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in yard, as was Mr. Williams. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog may have been provoked by Mr. Williams who, at the time, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

5. December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

We have seen so many abuses of our legal system over the years that we are tempted to take on the cynical attitude of Solomon when he wrote, "If you see the oppression of the poor, and the violent perversion of justice and righteousness in a province, do not marvel at the matter...." (Eccl. 5:8a).

The truth is, though, that justice usually does prevail in our courtrooms. Unfortunately, those cases are seldom regarded as being newsworthy. But even when we hear of injustices, we need to remember that all accounts are not settled in this lifetime. In a world that often seems to be very much out of control, we need to constantly be reminded that our God is in control, and justice will one day prevail.

"Many seek the ruler's favor, but justice for man comes from the LORD." (Prov. 29:26)

...injustice

Every year, the "Stella" awards are given to the most outlandish lawsuits of the year. The award is named for Stella Liebeck, the Albuquerque, N.M. woman who became an instant millionaire after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee in her lap and winning a judgment against the fast-food chain.

Here are some definite candidates:

1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amok inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little boy was Ms. Robertson's son.

2. June 1998: 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

3. October 1998: Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up, because the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. Mr. Dickson sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars.

4. October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in yard, as was Mr. Williams. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog may have been provoked by Mr. Williams who, at the time, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

5. December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

We have seen so many abuses of our legal system over the years that we are tempted to take on the cynical attitude of Solomon when he wrote, "If you see the oppression of the poor, and the violent perversion of justice and righteousness in a province, do not marvel at the matter...." (Eccl. 5:8a).

The truth is, though, that justice usually does prevail in our courtrooms. Unfortunately, those cases are seldom regarded as being newsworthy. But even when we hear of injustices, we need to remember that all accounts are not settled in this lifetime. In a world that often seems to be very much out of control, we need to constantly be reminded that our God is in control, and justice will one day prevail.

"Many seek the ruler's favor, but justice for man comes from the LORD." (Prov. 29:26)

honey

"TEHRAN (Reuters) - An Iranian bridegroom bit off more than he could chew when, according to custom, he licked honey from his bride's finger during their marriage ceremony and choked to death on one of her false nails. The Jam-e Jam newspaper said on Wednesday the 28-year-old groom died on the spot in the northwestern city of Qazvin while the bride was rushed to hospital after fainting from shock. Iranian couples lick honey from each other's fingers when they get married so that their life together starts sweetly."

While this groom's death is a tragedy, my first reaction was that this is a beautiful wedding custom. Isn't it a great idea to start your wedding life out sweetly? But, as I thought about it, I realized that the honey might be better saved for a later point in the marriage. After all, virtually every marriage begins sweetly. The trick is to maintain that sweetness after years and years of being together. Starting sweetly is not nearly as important as continuing sweetly.

Those of you who are married may do well to ask if the sweetness is still there. Husbands and wives, do you treat each other just as sweetly as you did those first few days of wedded bliss?

How about in your other relationships? Do you communicate with others in a way that can honestly be categorized as "sweet"? Listen to these words of Solomon:

"Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones." (Prov. 16:24)

May your life be filled with sweetness, and may you be blessed to be surrounded by sweet people.

quit

A retired gentleman spent most afternoons at the local golf course. Every day he would spend about three hours out on the course, playing a round by himself. When he would return to the club house, the resident pro would inquire about his score.

"Ed, how'd you shoot today?", to which the man would always reply, "Another perfect par."

The golf pro (being of average intelligence) knew that there was no way the old man was shooting straight par every day, but since he was a regular customer, he didn't want to insult the man by accusing him of lying.

Finally, one day, the pro decided to accompany the old man on his daily round, just to see for himself. On the first tee, the older gentleman sliced the ball way off into the rough. He found his ball, but his second shot was even worse. Finally putting it into the first hole (a par 4) took him 8 swings. The golf pro thought to himself, "I knew it. This old geezer's been lying all this time. There is no way he is gonna shoot anywhere near par."

They continued on, and the old man's game stayed the same, never once getting a par on any one hole. After almost 3 hours, they teed off on the 13th hole. The old man actually hit it straight down the middle -- it was the best shot he had made all day! He promptly walked down the fairway to his ball, picked it up, and began walking back to the clubhouse.

The pro was confused. "Hey, that was a great shot. Where are you going now?"

"Oh, I'm done," the old man replied with a smile, "That shot was number 72...another perfect par!"

I'll have to try that sometime (of course, I'd never find out what the back nine looks like! :-) I guess the moral of the story above is: If you know when to quit, you can shoot par every time! As Christians, it's also important for us to know when to quit.

"But now also put these things out of your life: anger, bad temper, doing or saying things to hurt others, and using evil words when you talk. Do not lie to each other. You have left your old sinful life and the things you did before. You have begun to live the new life, in which you are being made new and are becoming like the One who made you...." (Col. 3:8-10a, NCV)

If you're having trouble "shooting par" in your Christian life (our goal is to become like Christ), maybe you just need to learn when to quit!

timing

The following story comes from John Kanary in "Chicken Soup for the Soul":

Charlie Boswell was blinded during World War II while rescuing his friend from a tank that was under fire. He was a great athlete before his accident and in a testimony to his talent and determination he decided to try a brand new sport, a sport he never imagined playing, even with his eyesight . . .golf!

Through determination and a deep love for the game he became the National Blind Golf Champion! He won that honor 13 times. One of his heroes was the great golfer Ben Hogan, so it truly was an honor for Charlie to win the Ben Hogan Award in 1958.

Upon meeting Ben Hogan, Charlie was awestruck and stated that he had one wish and it was to have one round of golf with the great Ben Hogan.

Mr. Hogan agreed that playing a round together would be an honor for him as well, as he had heard about all of Charlie's accomplishments and truly admired his skills.

"Would you like to play for money, Mr. Hogan?" blurted out Charlie.

"I can't play you for money, it wouldn't be fair!" said Mr. Hogan.

"Aw, come on, Mr. Hogan.....$1,000 per hole!"

"I can't, what would people think of me, taking advantage of you and your circumstance," replied the sighted golfer.

"Chicken, Mr. Hogan?"

"Okay," blurted a frustrated Hogan, "but I am going to play my best!"

"I wouldn't expect anything else," said the confident Boswell.

"You're on Mr. Boswell, you name the time and the place!"

A very self-assured Boswell responded: "10 o'clock . . . tonight!"

Timing is everything! As Solomon said, "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." (Eccl. 3:1). But the problem for me has always been doing or saying something at the right time. So often, I'll leave a conversation and hours later be thinking, "That's what I should have said!", but it's too late, the time has passed.

Solomon also said, "A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!" (Prov. 15:23), or as the NCV translates it, "People enjoy giving good advice. Saying the right word at the right time is so pleasing."

Father, may the words I speak today be "the right words at the right time" both to be of help to others and to be a glory to You. In Jesus' name

Christmas

The following article (author unknown) has been making the rounds so you may have seen it before, but I think it carries a message that bears repeating:

Last Christmas we were thinking about all the things we didn't have. This Christmas we are thinking about all the things we do have. 

Last Christmas we were placing wreaths on the doors of our homes. This Christmas we are placing wreaths on the graves of our heroes. 

Last Christmas we were counting our money. This Christmas we are counting our blessings. 

Last Christmas we thought a man who could rush down a football field was a hero. This Christmas we know a man who rushes into a burning building is the real one. 

Last Christmas we paid lip service to the real meaning of the holidays. This Christmas we are paying homage to it. 

Last Christmas we were lighting candles to decorate. This Christmas we are lighting candles to commemorate. 

Last Christmas we were trying not to let annoying relatives get the best of us. This Christmas we are trying to give the best of ourselves to them. 

Last Christmas we thought it was enough to celebrate the holidays. This Christmas we know we must also find ways to consecrate them. 

Last Christmas we were thinking about the madness of the holidays. This Christmas we are thinking about the meaning of them. 

Last Christmas we were getting on one another's nerves. This Christmas we are getting on our knees. 

Last Christmas we were giving thanks for gifts from stores. This Christmas we are giving thanks for gifts from God. 

Last Christmas we were wondering how to give our children all the things that money can buy - the hottest toys, the latest fashions, the newest gadgets. This Christmas we are wondering how to give them all the things it can't - a sense of security, safety, peace. 

Last Christmas we were thinking about all the pressure we are under at the office. This Christmas we are thinking about all the people who no longer have an office to go to. 

Last Christmas we were singing carols. This Christmas we are singing anthems. 

Last Christmas we were thinking how good it would feel to be affluent. This Christmas we are thinking how good it feels to be alive. 

Last Christmas we thought angels were in heaven. This Christmas we know some are right here on earth. 

Last Christmas we believed in the power of the pocketbook. This Christmas we believe in the power of prayer. 

Last Christmas we were sharing/spreading/listening to gossip. This Christmas we are sharing/spreading/listening to the Gospel. 

Last Christmas we valued things that were costly. This Christmas we value things that are holy. 

Last Christmas the people we idolized wore football, basketball and baseball uniforms. This Christmas the people we idolize wear police, firefighters and military uniforms. 

Last Christmas "peace on earth" is something we prayed for on Sunday mornings. Now it is something we pray for every day. 

"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests." (Luke 2:14, NIV)

Have a great day and a wonderful Christmas!

teacher

As those of you who are college students know, at the end of each semester you are asked to fill out a form evaluating the teacher and the text. The following comments were taken from MIT forms in the fall of 1991:

"Have you ever fell asleep in class and awoke in another? That's the way I felt all term."

"The recitation instructor would make a good parking lot attendant. Tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him."

"Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room."

"In this class, the syllabus is more important than you are."

"Text makes a satisfying `thud' when dropped on the floor."

"Textbook is confusing... Someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it."

"Help! I've fallen asleep and I can't wake up!"

"Recitation was great. It was so confusing that I forgot who I was, where I was, and what I was doing -- it's a great stress reliever."

"He is one of the best teachers I have had...He is well-organized, presents good lectures, and creates interest in the subject. I hope my comments don't hurt his chances of getting tenure."

"He teaches like Speedy Gonzalez on a caffeine high."

"Information was presented like a ruptured fire hose -- spraying in all directions, no way to stop it."

"What's the quality of the text, you ask? `Text is printed on high quality paper.'"

I can remember that it was easier to say nice things about some of my teachers in college than it was some of the others. However, when it comes to evaluating my spiritual "Teacher" and his text, I can't begin to say enough good things. How would I evaluate the text?

"All Scripture is given by God and is useful for teaching, for showing people what is wrong in their lives, for correcting faults, and for teaching how to live right. Using the Scriptures, the person who serves God will be capable, having all that is needed to do every good work." (2 Tim. 3:16-17, NCV)

And the teacher?

"LORD, teach me what you want me to do, and I will live by your truth. Teach me to respect you completely. Lord, my God, I will praise you with all my heart, and I will honor your name forever. You have great love for me...." (Psa. 86:11-13a).

Praise to Him who is the greatest teacher we have ever known! May our ears always be attentive to his instruction!

shower

The following letters supposedly were taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests. In truth, this was composed by comedian Shelly Berman. It is rather long, but it is very funny and if you haven't seen it before, you'll love it.

Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,

S. Berman

Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy, Relief Maid

Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid,

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.

S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,

My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.

Your regular maid,

Dotty

Dear Mr. Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.

Elaine Carmen

Housekeeper

Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you,

Elaine Carmen,

Housekeeper

Dear Mr. Kensedder,

My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder

Assistant Manager

Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Who....left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one.....bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here? All I want is my bath-size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,

You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen

Housekeeper

Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory.

As of today I possess:

- On the shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.

- On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.

- On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet.

- 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.

- Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.

- In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.

- On the northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.

- On the northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman

It dawned on me that God is like those maids! Every day he sends us blessing after blessing. Whether we ask for them or not, whether we deserve them or not ("he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good"), whether we acknowledge them or not, we are absolutely flooded with blessings from a good and gracious God.

"Bless the LORD, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from destruction, who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, who satisfies your mouth with good things." (Psalm 103:1-5a).

To the God who keeps on giving and giving be all praise and honor and glory!