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how married women should treat their husbands, I share with you the updated version for the modern woman (author unknown):

1. Have dinner ready: Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you'd like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been terrible and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.

2. Prepare yourself: A quick stop at the "LANCOME" counter on your way home will do wonders for your outlook (don't forget to use his credit card!)

3. Clear away the clutter: Call the housekeeper and let her know you'll need her for an extra day this week. Tell her that any miscellaneous items left on the floor by the children can be placed in the Goodwill box in the garage.

4. Prepare the children: Drop them off at grandma's!

5. Minimize the noise: When he arrives at home remind him that the washer and garbage disposal are still not working properly and the

noise is driving you crazy (but do this in a nice way and greet him

with a warm smile...this way he might fix it faster).

6. Some DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Let him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Simply remind him that the last one home does the cooking and the cleanup.

7. Make him comfortable: Remind him where he can find a warm fuzzy blanket if he's cold. This will show you really care.

8. Listen to him: But don't ever let him get the last word.

9. Make the evening his: a chance to get the washer and garbage disposal fixed.

10. The Goal: To try to keep things amicable without reminding him that you make more money than he does.

Thanks to all of you who wrote and had such nice things to say about Monday's article. It seems that the message struck a chord with quite a few of you (both young and old, both men and women). As I said in that message, I truly believe that applying the principle of "seeking to please one another" would strengthen our marriages.

And once we have applied that principle in our marriages, then we could take the drastic step of applying it in the church (after all, that was the setting Paul had in mind when he wrote the words quoted from Philippians 2:4). How many church disputes do you suppose have occurred just because somebody didn't get their way? As difficult as it may be to apply that principle in our marriages, it is even more difficult to apply it to all Christians. "You mean I'm just supposed to let him have it his way? But that's not fair! What I want is just as important as what he wants!"

What a difference would be made if we could all, "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus...." (Phil. 2:5). Selfishness is difficult to get rid of, but we must as we seek to grow in love, for love "does not seek its own." (I Cor. 13:5).

Father, please forgive me of those times when I have been so centered on my needs and my desires that I have been blind to the needs and desires of those around me. Help me to truly take on the "heart of a servant" that Jesus demonstrated while he was on this earth. In His precious name, amen.