...applicant

After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching prospect said, "Let me see if I've got this right? 

You want me to go into that room with all those kids, and do the following:

Correct their disruptive behavior

Observe them for signs of abuse

Monitor their dress habits

Censor their T-shirt messages

Instill in them a love for learning

Check their backpacks for weapons

Wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases

Raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride

Teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play

Teach them how to register to vote

Balance a checkbook

Apply for a job

You want me to check their heads for lice

Recognize signs of anti-social behavior

Make sure that they all pass the state exams

Provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps

Communicate regularly with their parents in English and Spanish by letter, telephone, conferences, email, homework hotline, web page, midterm newsletters, and report card

You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps

You want me to do all this and then you tell me I CAN'T PRAY?

– ed bradley