...struggle

There's a parable about a mother who discovered a butterfly struggling mightily to escape its cocoon through a tiny opening at the top. She became concerned when the creature seemed to give up after making no progress. Certain that the butterfly wouldn't make it out without help, she enlarged the hole.

On its next try, the butterfly wriggled out easily. But the young woman's joy turned to horror when she saw its wings were shriveled and useless. Her well-intentioned intervention had interrupted a natural process. 

Forcing the butterfly to squeeze though a small opening is nature's way of assuring that blood from the creature's body is pushed into the wings. By making it easier, she deprived the butterfly of strong wings.

Childhood, too, is a sort of cocoon. If a healthy adult is to emerge, parents must allow, even encourage, their children to struggle, make mistakes, learn from them, and pay the price for bad judgments and conduct.

Of course, good parents should protect their children from serious harm, but being overprotective can itself inflict damage. Adversity is not always an enemy. Teaching can help a young person develop wings strengthened by self-confidence and self-reliance.

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved." Helen Keller